Astilbe
by Laguna's twin sister
Summary: Flowers may still do the trick, the Emperor thought, for in the end he was still just a boy, hoping to reach a woman’s heart.


Disclaimers: I don't own anyone. Please don't sue me.

* * *

Astilbe 

Patience is a virtue, and it had always been his; yet he started to wonder if his assessment had been correct or if in truth he was just being too naively hopeful.

Nevertheless, he still believed that things had to happen at the right place and the right time as most things in life could not be forced. From experience, he learned that to cope, one would need careful planning, an open mind, and heaping amounts of patience.

Yet the heaping amounts he believed himself to have had been dwindling by the minute, and by the hour, and soon, he found himself pacing back and forth in the quiet corridors, after his chair became too warm that he decided that it was time to move about. He guessed he could not blame himself. Neither could he blame the object of his waiting. After all, waiting and making other people wait had always been part of the life she was born into. He knew, for he was born into such a life himself.

"Emperor, I am terribly sorry," a shaky voice startled him, and it was only then that he realized that his ears already got used to the droning silence. "The queen must have had a lot of er… pressing matters to discuss with … viscount. Surely it had not been her intent to…"

Larsa held up his hand to stop the man from worrying any further, as he noticed the beads of sweat that had formed in his forehead. If he did not know any better, he would've guessed that the old man was short of having palpitations. "It is all right chancellor, I understand. It was actually I who made the imposition and so the queen…"

"It is no imposition my lord," it was the chancellor's turn to stop him, his tone surprisingly assertive despite his nervousness, "and in my humble opinion, the queen certainly would appreciate your company for this evening."

_That was a pleasant thought_, he almost said the words out loud, but managed to stop himself. He did not need any flattery, though what he truly needed was a push to raise his confidence. Quite frankly, the chancellor's statement seemed more like a polite remark than a…

"That is a sound observation, Chancellor"

Her voice was suddenly heard from behind and the old man's expression quickly shifted from relief to panic. He quickly excused himself and walked briskly towards the next room, looking eager to give orders to the maids and the cooks.

The young emperor smiled when the queen's face finally came into his view, the doubts suddenly erased from his mind. He bowed slightly to acknowledge her presence and she in turn slightly tilted her head as if to reply.

"I almost thought I was to be _stood up_."

She unconsciously raised her eyebrow, a bit surprised by his choice of words, until she remembered that their arrangements for the evening were not intended to be political in nature. _He_, in his _personal capacity_, after all invited her to a simple dinner. Her attendance was required as a companion, and not as a sovereign … or rather, her attendance was not even required at all. Yet she knew it would be most rude, after he spared some time from his routine visit to her kingdom just to meet with her.

"To be honest, I thought so too," she said without batting an eyelash, "But then I figured; I am better off dining with a young persistent emperor than with an old lecherous man."

"Seeing you were not left with much of a choice, I am honored to be considered the lesser evil." The sparkle in his eyes betrayed the seriousness of his voice, and his expression broke into a smile altogether when he saw her roll her eyes heavenward. "Was it really that bad?"

"I almost had the urge to pluck his eyes out when he would not stop staring at me," she hissed, reminding Larsa of the warrior queen he fought beside with years ago.

"Perhaps the man was merely showing his attentiveness."

"I would have believed him if his line of sight had been fixated on the area _above my neck_."

"Oh," was all he could say to that remark, as he suddenly felt the warmth in his ears spreading to his cheeks. Now that she mentioned it, the image he had of her years ago was almost hard to reconcile with how she looked before him now. She was regal as she should be, but more radiant than he could ever imagine. A decade had passed, and she became even more beautiful – either that or the years added to his age merely made him more perceptive. In fact, he realized that he could not blame the viscount, what with the cut her gown making her boso… He coughed semi-consciously and decided to change the topic, "I suppose you are hungry..."

"I suppose you are too," And that was all that had to be said for the different courses of food to be brought into the dining area.

She sat at the end of the small table while he in turn sat at the other end. She took her time to adjust the napkin in her lap and smoothen out the invisible creases on the table as she looked at Larsa from the corner of her eye. A decade had passed, and he had grown so much, without really changing much at all. Whenever he smiled, the image of that boy he once was came back, as she saw the familiar cerulean eyes, the familiar grin, the familiar innocence embedded in his new image. She expected him to grow taller, though she was wrong to think he would be lanky. While he did not have a warrior's physique, his sword training with Basch did something to his build, no doubt. His hair was cropped now, most probably in tune with Archades's latest fashion, yet it suited him just the same.

"Lady Ashe, is something the matter?"

And his voice. Oh gods, his voice. Truly he was a boy no longer – but the tone and the politeness – everything was still _very Larsa._

"How is Gabranth?" she asked, without really thinking, as she shifted her attention to the hors d'oeuvres at the table.

"He is fine. He wanted me to send you his regards by the way," he replied, "He's been traveling a lot these days. Though, I know not when he would decide to visit Dalmasca."

He did not miss the sudden sadness passing through her eyes.

"Tell him to visit soon. For old time's sake."

Somehow, he still felt as though it had been his fault all this time.

"If you would like, I would send him here on official business as soon as I get back to Archades."

She chuckled then as she looked at him once more, "I did not think you could act so underhandedly, Emperor," she looked at him teasingly before she continued, "I do not think that is necessary. He would come when he is ready."

He nodded, as he averted his gaze timidly, realizing he might have sounded too eager. Yet it was a thought he had toyed with for a while now, and it did not help that Penelo thought it was a sound idea too.

They ate quietly for a while until Ashe spoke once more. "How are things in Archades?" she asked casually, in an effort to start a light conversation.

The young man briefly glanced at her once more, his eyes with seemingly renewed interest. "The senate recently passed a bill that authorized the rebuilding of Old Archades. I am hoping the new structures would achieve something more than aesthetic improvement. I have seen the way you have reorganized Lowtown, and I must admit it had given me some ideas. There has been growing unrest among the residents and the immigrants, I am afraid it is becoming even more detrimental to the economy…" he stopped when he realized he had been rambling, and he had to avert his gaze once more when he saw an odd look from Ashe's face.

It amused her when she realized that it was _just like Larsa_ to go on talking about highly complicated matters as if he were merely talking about the weather. Amidst the vast number of audiences and meetings she had attended over the years, she had not seen a better statesman than he was. She honestly believed his skill rivaled that of her Uncle Halim, though his age was barely a third of the Marquis's. He assumed responsibilities at a much younger age than she did, and so she figured that that was reason enough for him to be more sophisticated… and definitely more serious.

"Lowtown was reintegrated into the transport system. The gates have been reopened and commerce thrived because of it. My ministers have noted the decrease in the occurrence of poverty and unemployment. But more importantly, I am pleased at the effect it is having on my people's morale," she spoke steadily with an almost solemn expression, not wanting to discourage her guest, "I am glad that you actually saw something beneficial to the empire from our policies. And I must say, your move to improve Old Archades is a good one."

"Thank you," he replied, still focusing on his plate as he had not completely gotten over his latest embarrassment just yet. He was the one who invited the queen to an informal dinner, and yet he answered the simple question she asked like she was just another politician in another state visit. Nevertheless, even while he put more effort into cutting his meat, it warmed him when he realized that his relationship with Ashe had not been as terse as it was before. She praised him… she talked casually about his empire, and when she asked how things were in Archades, she was not really interested about the empire… what she was really interested was what he had been up to.

Of course more cordial relations between Archadia and Dalmasca fortified the bridges between them, and the fact that they now share the same guardian made them closer to a certain extent as well. Yet perhaps it was because they knew more about each other, spent more time with each other, albeit in their sovereign capacities, that they actually became friendlier to each other.

To somehow rectify his mistake, he continued, "And as for things in Archades…" he sighed candidly, as if preparing to talk about something difficult, "balls and soirees are being hosted by everyone, everywhere, and I believe I'm starting to spend more time in such activities than I am supposed to."

"So now I suppose this dinner-for-two is a breath of fresh air," Ashe smiled slightly then, remembering such stage in her life herself, "It is good to indulge, once in a while. It comes with the position, and that age."

"But you do not understand!" he looked at her, eyes pleading despite his awkward smile, "While I dislike getting cooped up in my office all day, I feel even more suffocated by having supposed acquaintances breathing down my neck every opportunity they have."

Her smile broke into a grin then, for seeing the emperor distraught was a rare sight to many– yet to her it was a familiar one. It was that same expression he had when Vaan teased Penelo at his expense.

"You will get used to it, Larsa. Believe me," she said as she nodded knowingly, "Besides, it would do you some good to be acquainted with more people."

She must admit that the boy had charisma. Even as they traveled the world together with him as her supposed hostage, she had seen the way he talked to people. She first thought it to be nothing more than a child's curiosity, yet it did not take her long to figure out that he really was special. He could easily talk to garifs, peasants, monks, and dignitaries as though it had been part of his everyday routine. Why… he even managed to form an affable relationship with her while she still full of rage against the empire.

"But the ladies and the gents in Archades… they are something else…"

"Let me guess," and suddenly she saw another side of him many people probably have not seen, "Fathers of the would-be-brides and the potential wives?" Yet it was not so surprising. It almost felt like seeing her own image reflected on a mirror.

"Lady Ashe, I could not fathom how you possibly survived through it."

"It is improper to call me a survivor," she leaned closer as if she were going to share a secret, "I just learned how to be more evasive."

He chuckled in reply, "Perhaps I should tell Gabranth to skip that lesson. I implore you to teach me instead."

She shook her head, feigning exasperation. "Train more and get an accessory - that could work better too. You should have a look around the palace; I may still have a jade collar in one of the treasure chests."

They looked at each other for a brief moment only to laugh out loud.

"Oh forgive me; queens are not known to have a sense of humor,"

"It is quite all right. Emperors are known to fall for the silliest jokes."

Larsa bit his lip, struggling to regain his composure. He looked at the Ashe from the other end of the table and he realized that seeing the queen so…jovial… was a rare sight indeed. Now that he thought about it, that had been the first time he saw her laugh that hard. Perhaps he was no different. He had not laughed like that for so long.

Sharing a moment with the queen somehow warmed his heart. It was one of those rare moments when it seemed like they were not as far apart as they truly were. It was almost as if… she was within his reach. It was almost as if all he needed to do was to reach out…and…

"Seriously now, I would like to thank you for joining me tonight," he said in a much softer and mellower voice. "It was really worth the wait."

"Oh Larsa," she unconsciously smiled warmly at him then. Over the years, the boy became more than an ally. Now that she thought about it, he might have been more of a friend. Somehow she felt responsible for him, just because she was older and not as naïve as he had been. She had gone through most of what he was still going through, and the least she could do was offer a helping hand, or at least, some friendly advice. She owed him that much.

"You know, it feels somehow bittersweet. I too am glad that we had dinner tonight. We might not meet this way in a long time after this," Ashe said, with only bare hints of a smile remaining in her face.

He was surprised, yet regained his control and managed to limit his reaction to a slight tilt in his head. "I could always visit. I still have some duties to Rabanastre after all."

"That is not what I meant Larsa," she sighed, seeing how the young man still was too innocent, "you are at that age… soon you would be busy with courtship and marriage or whatnot, whether willfully or otherwise."

"Oh."

His stunned reaction was enough to let her know that he understood. "Seeing me this way might spoil your chances with your prospects," she told him frankly, realizing there was no point in beating around the bush. She was aware of the possibility that the Archadian camp might propose some sort of _arrangement_ with her, though she was slowly nearing that age wherein spinsterhood was no longer an option but an evident decision. She had been subjected to a political marriage before, and she knew that the same thing could happen to Larsa. Perhaps he might be luckier for he was a man and had more liberties, but he was still young, and still vulnerable enough to be misled. "Now that I think about it Larsa, I think you should start taking matters into your own hands."

If only he could truly do so, he thought. The years that passed provided him with a chance to grow, and yet in the end he still felt as though there was something lacking. _Wait for it_, his guardian always told him, _wait for it and it shall come_. But amidst everything, after each stepping stone he managed to pass, he still felt as if he was lagging behind; he still felt as if he had not gone any farther than from where he started.

"I know why you've frequented Rabanastre." While she knew the emperor had good intentions, she was not as dense to not know that he had ulterior motives. "Sooner or later, you have to tell her how you feel."

He felt warmth spreading through his cheeks and his ears, and he was sure he looked like a tomato at that moment. If he could only grow more; if he could only be half the man she wanted… if he could only be a man in her eyes.

She was not unaware of his admiration for Penelo. She had been a girl once, and she most definitely knew how it felt like. "As a man you have more latitude. Surely your advisers wouldn't care less as to the woman you decide to pursue."

"If it had only been that easy," he sighed, unable to look at her direction, "I do not think I have a chance."

She also was not unaware of her closeness to Vaan; nevertheless, she still believed that Larsa deserved to try. "Is that resignation I am hearing … from you? Emperor Larsa Ferinas Solidor?"

He smiled, a bittersweet smile, "She … may never see me the way I would want her to. Perhaps she may never come to see me as anything more. I am blessed enough to have her see me as a friend… perhaps I should just be content." Perhaps he should wait, as he always had. He would just wait, for now, until he grows more, until she realizes how much he'd grown.

Somehow her heart ached from what seemed to be a difficult confession, that she suddenly felt guilty for prying. More than anything else, Larsa was still after all a _boy_, his accomplishments would not change that fact. And perhaps the same accomplishments would not give him that same _joy_ he deserved – that chance to gain the _Rabanastran girl's_ affection.

"In any case," he chuckled, hoping to break away from the awkward topic, so he could start breathing again, "perhaps I should just attend more soirees and practice my charm."

"Try putting up another bounty on Balthier's head instead. It might be less painful," she chuckled herself; thankful she did not have to hurt the young man's feelings any longer.

"And you say you do not have a sense of humor?"

* * *

Ashe gazed on the flowers in the corner of her terrace, surprised at finding it in her usual spot, yet not minding it all the same. The new addition to her haven was subtle, but strong enough to save her from dwelling in the past like she always did whenever she was at that spot. Having something new to look upon made her realize that she was no longer that same girl that stood in that terrace years ago; that while she now stands there alone, she was clearly much stronger than before.

"Majesty, I just wanted you to see how it looked like there," the chancellor spoke behind her, "While the Emperor asked them to be placed in that area, now that he has left, we could easily put it in the palace gardens, or wherever you may please,"

"It is quite all right," she sighed, waving her hand slightly, "you need not move it."

She moved closer to the porcelain pots to have a better look at the growing plants. The small flowers stretched out, forming star-like shapes. Its simple yet vibrant form seemed as though it yearned to reach the sky. "What kind of flower is this chancellor? I don't believe I've seen this before."

"They're astilbes your majesty," the man said knowingly. He coughed slightly and added, "It is not that it's a rare flower to come by. It's just that it is something that is rarely given."

"I can see why," she said under her breath as she concluded that it was nothing compared to Galbana lilies. The bright hue reminded her of rubies, yet while its color was just as striking; it was not as beautiful as she perceived other flowers to be. Yet it was quaint, different. Of course she could not expect much. Larsa gave her the flowers as a token of his appreciation – a testament of his friendship. Surely he gave roses, lilies and other _beautiful _flowers to _other girls, _and it would not be _appropriate_ to give her such flowers_._

"I suppose the emperor did feel quite offended after all. It shows from the flowers he chose to give you."

Ashe frowned, not quite understanding what the chancellor just said, "He was offended?" The flowers were not that awful-looking. In fact, the more she looked at it, the more she liked it. It stood out, but was subtle enough to enable her to appreciate it for many weeks, perhaps even months ahead. Had he been offended, surely he would not opt to give her such a pleasant gift.

The chancellor smiled, somehow feeling important for knowing something the queen clearly didn't. Seeing it as a good opportunity to impress his queen, he explained, "flowers have meanings you see… and this particular one, it is given to tell you a message."

_A message? Flowers could mean something other than love? _

The queen still frowned, as if in confusion, and so the chancellor decided to continue. "Astilbes are given to say _I'll still be waiting_."

_Waiting_

The queen smiled slowly as she realized how sly the young man could be. She had underestimated him. The boy she had known had grown to become a clever, clever _man_. No doubt, he truly was a Solidor.

Yet she realized it would be improper to compare him to his predecessors. He was Larsa, good old Larsa – and he belonged to a class of his own.

"I suppose, next time I should not make him wait as long," she said softly, as she gazed on the small flowers once more, feeling it warm her heart.

The chancellor nodded, oblivious to the strange expression on the queen's face, for he was too preoccupied with thanking the gods for he knew that the emperor's next visit would not be anytime soon.

* * *

Author's Notes: Oh yes. Oh yes I've done it! Haha. Somehow Ashe x Larsa seems a bit taboo. But then, if you think about it (with a very open mind) it kinda works. At least for me it does. Ashe can be paired up with ANYONE from the main cast, apparently. Haha.


End file.
